Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
James Thurber

A very elderly gentleman, remarkably well dressed in a great looking suit with a boutonnière in his lapel, hair handsomely groomed, slightly scented with a good after shave, and presenting a striking physique, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is a lady also up in years.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, then turns to her. "So tell me," he says, "do I come here often?"

Barry Clark, Fredericksburg, Virginia, [ prairiehomecompanion.com ]

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There are three kinds of people in the world - those who can count, and those who can't.

Brent Gschwend, Orem, Utah [ prairiehomecompanion.com ]

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A man was touring a nursing home with the head administrator, when he asked a question: "What criteria do you use to determine when a person has lost his faculties enough to require institutionalization?"

"Well, we have a simple test," said the administrator. "We put them in a room with a bathtub full of water, give them a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket, and tell them to empty the tub."

"I see," said the man , "a rational person would use the bucket, so that the job would get done quicker."

"No," said the administrator, "a rational person would pull the plug. Would you prefer a bed near the wall or near the window?"  

Steve Davis, North Ogden, Utah [ prairiehomecompanion.com ]

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No Matter the Price
No Matter How New
The Best Safety Device
In the Car Is You

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