I recently received an email from a reader who was wondering if she should be alarmed by the unkempt state of her parents’ home. I told her that the key to understanding and eradicating this issue was to figure out the underlying cause of the breakdown in her parents’ day-today functioning, and then to take the appropriate action. This got me to thinking about other signs that signify an elderly person may be facing a crisis:
- The person wears the same clothes over and over again.
- Memory impairment, such as missing appointments, social outings, forgetting to take medications, forgetting people, names, etc.
- Spoiled food in the refrigerator. (Conversely, no food in the refrigerator.)
- Weight loss (the elderly person may be forgetting to eat or may be unable to cook for him or herself).
- Poor hygiene or other bizarre or uncharacteristic behavior, including dressing inappropriately or for the weather.
- Paranoid, irrational or aggressive behavior (i.e. believing there is a plot against them).
- Disorientation, such as talking when no one is present, talking about people who are deceased as if they are alive, confusing names, getting lost, etc.
- A series of “minor” fender benders (shows that reflexes are poor).
- Depression severe enough to lead to isolation and/or crying jags.
The above are all indicators that your aging parent needs extra care, or even the next step in care. I urge you to call or email me so that I may help you plan your next step, the one that is right for you and your family. I have a network of contacts and associates and will help you best decide what’s right for you at this crucial time. As a member or the National Aging in Place Council and an advisory board member to an Atlanta-area assisted living facility, and as a rabbi and trained family mediator, I will help you make a decision you can all live well with. Let me help you make informed decisions.
All the best,
Scott
[Rabbi Scott Saulson, Ph.D.]
